I receive so many letters from women who are looking for someone with whom to share their lives. Some are eager, others are longing and some are just downright desperate. I feel for my single sisters and yearn for them to find “the one”. However, my yearning is often interrupted by my concern. I am concerned that my sisters are not adequately prepared to receive the blessing God has set aside for just them.

God has customized a mate just for you. Now, if He has taken the time to personalize the blessing, shouldn’t we take the time to prepare for it? You may be saying, “What is she talking about? I’m more than ready for my man.” But are you, really? I am amazed at how many women I encounter who do not even really know themselves; who think of “exploring” themselves as drudgery and yet expect a man to jump at the chance to get to know them. If you are not willing to become acquainted with yourself, what makes you think a man will want to become acquainted with you?

So, the first step of preparation is: Exploring Yourself. Find out what makes you tick. What do you like? What do you dislike? What are your favorite qualities about yourself? What are your strengths? What would you like to improve? What are your weaknesses? Why are you the way you are? What experiences have shaped you into the woman you are now? What kind of relationships have you had in the past? Were they meaningful? Purely sexual? If so, why? What did you learn from your past? For, if you haven’t learned anything, you’re destined to relive it. You are special. There is no one in the whole world exactly like you. You owe it to you, to know you.

You’ll be amazed at what you discover about yourself. Maybe, you’ve always wanted to be a lawyer, but your dreams got lost because you had to get a job right after school and provide for yourself. Pursue it now. Find out what you need to do to get yourself back in school. Maybe, you’ve always liked art, but just dismissed your interest as “silly”. Pursue it now. Sign up and take an art class. Explore you. You’re worth getting to know! Stop waiting for a man to complete you. Pursue wholeness now!

Once you have gotten to know yourself, accept yourself and love yourself, then, and only then, should you even consider sharing your life with someone else. You don’t want half a man (and if you do, you need counseling ASAP), so you shouldn’t want to give anybody half a woman. God cares enough to send you the very best, the least you could do is be your very best when he arrives.

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